25 November, 2008

Cinematic Ninja Probability

General Theory of Cinematic Ninja Probability:

The probability of a successful mission for any number of ninja in a cinematic piece is the inverse of the number of ninja bearing in mind certain significant exceptional cases.

For example given 500 ninja this number would be 0.002 or a 0.2% chance for 500 ninja to achieve their goal in a cinematic setting.

The Ideal Ninja Number:

Due to the corollary of "No Good Prop Goes Unused" (cf Mathematics and Logic in Cinema, Fry, pp 102 - 114) any probability of less than 0.20 or 20% yields a probability of 0.00 or a 0% chance of success where cinematic ninja are concerned. Producers and Production Accountants should take note that this means that any more than 5 ninja are redundant.

Furthermore strict uniformity of costuming in a production with a liberal use of camera set up changes and an organized rotation of weapons and equipment designates 5 ninja as sufficient, or the "Ideal Ninja Number" for cases where due to plot reasons ninja are determined in advance to fail in a mission.

Five ninja using the proper cuts, camera set ups and camera angles may represent any given number of ninja at any given time up to and over the number of 5 so any more than 5 would be fiscally irresponsible since they are doomed to fail in the first place hence the designation of the number 5 as the constant known as the Ideal Ninja Number.

For more information and the mathematic proof of the Ideal Ninja Number please refer to the Bonus Features of the recently re-released DVD Set of the complete series of "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century" starring Gil Gerard. This treatise is only available on the collectors edition of said DVD set.

Predetermined Success:
Accordingly one ninja is guaranteed a probability of 1.00 or a 100% chance of success in their cinematic endeavor.

This can be further assured for any ninja portrayed by an actor who has billing above the title of the screenplay on any mass distributed promotional materials as well as for ninjas who wear colors that would naturally clash with their surroundings or by a probability equal to 1 * [5/(20 - apparent age of the ninja)].

In the above case ninja who have an apparent age of 20 creates an asymptotic line and are not allowed to exist. Furthermore for insurance purposes ninja below the age of 21 are not allowed to exist unless they wear garish costumes for safety and insurance reasons.

When success needs to be assured due to plot reasons any single ninja may be considered a separate group of ninja when calculated cinematic probability provided that the one single ninja conforms one of the following: having the name of their actor over the title, wearing a garish costume, or is apparently 15 years of age or younger for the purpose of the cinematic endeavor.

The Rule of Four:

Single ninja in garish costumes or comparatively young ninjas in garish costumes in groups of more than two and up to and including four are virtually guaranteed a 1.00 probability, or 100% chance, of success in any cinematic endeavor. They are also guaranteed many, many sequels.

The Rule of Cinematic Ninja Probability in the Historical or Costume Drama:

In this case garish costumes and irregularly young age have absolutely no effect. This is an outstanding case much like a "saddle point" in three dimensional calculus.

The most probable scenario for this case is for two ninja to partake in a mission and one of them to have a 100% chance of success and one to have a 0% chance of success.

Furthermore a single ninja in this case will have a zero % chance of success because if successful they would derail the plot because they would accomplish their objective and leave no evidence behind to lend the victims of the operation to know that ninja were involved and this would lead to awkward and expensive plot exposition.

The victims would have to wait for days and perhaps weeks of time in the plot to realize that the ninja were indeed successful as they would have to determine this by other means and with no direct evidence that ninja were involved, vis a vis a dead ninja.

Furthermore in this case any number of ninja greater than two is redundant in this case as the production will most likely be over budget from the inherent load of drastically increased costuming costs, set design overhead, hiring day players to play massive numbers of indigent armed forces and the signing bonus for at least one of the following: Richard Chamberlin, Tom Cruise or Chow Yun Fat.

jof

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